the cycle of seasons
by vanilluxe
Summary: And by some miracle they had found a niche. Twenty-five stories.
1. Better Left Unsaid

**Prompt: **Gift  
**Originally Written: **2.23.2009

Lawrence was not one for meditation or anything of the sort. He preferred to live a simple life, as he was brought up to do. He didn't put much thought into things outside of his trade. The circumstances of his life were just that; there was no reason to debate with destiny.

No one questioned their destiny; it was just something people had to accept. And yet, he could not help but think that fate was cruelly manipulating him with the arrival of this wolf girl. Was it a test? Had he done something wrong? He did not deserve the grief he constantly received for lugging the goddess around like a spoilt child.

But sometimes, when she thinks his back is turned, he would steal a glance at her. She was such a complex creature, her emotions changing as intensely as the seasons. The slightest thing could make her absolutely drunk with joy or drive her mad. (Although he was fairly certain that _he_ would be driven mad before she was even remotely insane.)

When he sees her devout, undying loyalty to him through the teasing and incessant whining, he wonders if it's not so much a curse as a gift. Never well-versed in terms of challenging emotions, he struggled—almost unbearably so—to understand what exactly stirred in him when he dwelt upon this; it was akin to…warmth. It frightened him like nothing else.

By his own admission, he would never let such an invaluable gift go, no matter how much she wanted to leave.


	2. Necessary Sacrifices

**Prompt: **Merchandise  
**Character(s): **Horo, Lawrence  
**Originally Written: **2.23.2009

"No."

"Yes."

"Are you insane? With all the debt we're in, you're still pushing me?"

"You seem to have no qualms about buying things for yourself."

He knew far in advance that it was hopeless to argue, but for just once in his time traveling with the goddess, he wants to be paid some respect. If it means putting up a fight that was doomed from the start, then so be it.

"Because they're things that I _need_," he says simply, hoping that it will put some thought into her head for a change.

"And I don't need clothes?"

"You don't need clothes that cost this much!"

She raises an eyebrow, and he doesn't like the look she's giving him. "Oh? Would you rather I go naked, then?"

It's not really what she's saying, but _how_ she's saying it; half seriously, half playfully. He knows exactly how he's looking right now, and no matter what he says, he won't be able to prevent her teasing and insults.

And there's no way he'd ever admit that he'd like the view.

So he sighs and gives in, the monetary cost paling in comparison to the wound on his pride.


	3. Raise Your Head

**Prompt: **Weight Of The World  
**Character(s): **Horo  
**Originally Written: **3.2.2009  
**Notes: **None of the religious views here express my own.

Her burden was the world's hatred.

The rise of Christianity gave way to the persecution of the pagans. The people no longer needed to pay tribute or do anything at all to honor the gods. They paid attention to their Lord, dismissing everyone else's gods as false.

There was not a doubt that they were haughty, as though they could know everything in the world.

She couldn't succumb to the insecurity of everyone's sudden disbelief in her, if not for her sake, then for Lawrence's. He needed her to be strong, and even if he didn't suspect the ordeals she went through,she tried to keep him in the dark about such things.

No matter what she said or did, she always had _their_ best interest in mind, not just hers. As reluctant as she was to admit it, she cared for the fool, even if he was the biggest softy she ever came across.

So even if the weight of the world brought her down, she would raise her head for him, because he's done the same for her.


	4. Love Is Not Sharing A Bed

**Prompt: **Room  
**Character(s): **Lawrence, Horo  
**Originally Written: **3.4.2009

"Make room," she commanded harshly. "I'm cold."

She didn't know if he was awake, but frankly, she didn't care. The winter was horridly frigid that particular year, to the point where she couldn't even sleep. Horo hadn't been willing to admit this, but she cared more for her comfort than her pride in the middle of the night.

He flipped over, barely opening his eyes. "There's no room," he noted groggily, burying his face deeper into the pillow.

"Liar." She pushed him over, wondering why she even bothered to tell him to move in the first place when she knew that he wouldn't do it. He struggled a little before relenting, and she climbed in next to him.

"You're not welcome, you know," he said, his eyes fully open.

"Shut up, you're cold too."

He didn't deny it, so she took his silence as an affirmation.

"You're very imposing."

"Only when I must be."

He raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

The room suddenly felt too small.


	5. If I Hadn't Met You

**Prompt: **Harsh  
**Character(s): **Lawrence  
**Originally Written: **3.9.2009

He's wandering the streets, looking for some sign of mercy in this city that put on a warm façade to detract from its true coldness.

He's purposely trying to ignore what he's just done.

"_If I hadn't met you—"_

…What would he have done if he never met her?

He isn't sure what he would do. Thanks to her very presence, he lost opportunities to get himself out of this mess. He's reduced to mush whenever her eyes light up at the sight of apples or whatever else she's particularly interested in. She causes him every kind of stress there is, and somehow, he can't find the courage to make her go away.

And even then, he said those harsh words. It was unnecessary. It wasn't right. He shouldn't have done it, but he did, and now he is left to pay the price.

He knows that it's pointless to try and blame things on her when she didn't do anything wrong. Being there for him when no one else was can't constitute a breach in trust.

"_If I hadn't met you—"_

He knows exactly how he'd feel if those words were said to him, and it serves as a reminder of how harsh he can really be.


	6. Dreams

**Prompt: **Restless  
**Character(s): **Horo, Lawrence  
**Originally Written: **3.21.2009

There's an unexpected atmosphere of calmness surrounding the air tonight; the wind is at a standstill, the air warm and thick.

They can't enjoy it, however. They are so deprived of sleep that it's impossible to enjoy anything, for that matter.

"I can't sleep," she complains to herself, burying her face into her discarded robe. "How vexing."

She doesn't know that he's listening quietly, his eyes trailing up to the stars. He can't count the months that they had been traveling together, and somehow they never got used to the various problems they ran into. They bickered all too often on possible solutions, ending in them never getting anything done.

"_That won't work."_

"_And who are you to say?"_

"_Because I've seen people try it before!"_

At this, she'd silently concede defeat, pride severely wounded. She would hold a grudge against him for all of an hour before being decently amicable once more.

That was just her nature, he resolved.

"Is it really so difficult to just shut your eyes and drift off?" Lawrence asks, turning over in the cart to look at her. Her eye twitches slightly, and he laughs. "I would think that the warm air is enough to put someone like you to sleep."

She looks away, pouting like the little girl she truly is (at heart, anyway). "Couldn't you say the same for yourself, fool?"

He can't hold in a laugh as he reaches over and ruffles her hair. "I suppose I could."

She squirms under his touch and digs deeper underneath her robe, using it as a cover. "Fool…" she whispers under her breath, squeezing her eyes shut.

"I don't think you'll be able to fall asleep that easily."

"Of course not, when you keep trying to wake me!"

"Do you dream?"

At this, her ears shoot up and she emerges from underneath the robe, staring at him with those intense crimson eyes. "Dream?" Holo looks uncomfortable for a moment before regaining her composure."I suppose I do from time to time."

"About?"

"I don't remember, usually." She shoots a skeptical glare at him. "Why, do you recall yours with unyielding clearness?"

They lay like that, looking at the stars in silence. There's not much else to ruminate on—mindless chatter is their only option if they want to bore themselves to sleep. He turns over so that his back is facing her, stretching out. After a few awkward moments of stillness, he decides to grace her with a response.

"Sometimes. Most of the time, no."

She nods. "That's how it is for me too." Inching a little closer to him, she suddenly frowns and looks annoyed.

"What?" he asks, not knowing if he did anything wrong.

"We should spend more time trying to dream instead of just talking about it," she mumbles before drifting away.

He stares at her sleeping form a little while longer before smiling, more amused than he should be. He'd give anything to see what she dreamt about.


	7. Discomfort

**Prompt: **Snow  
**Characters: **Horo, Lawrence  
**Originally Written: **3.23.2009

Horo would've been able to enjoy the snow much more if she wasn't freezing because of it.

"How can you call yourself resourceful when you don't even know what to do about the simplest of things?" she chided, wrapping her tail around herself tightly. She felt her ears twitch wildly. This was ridiculous; she had grown up in weather like this, yet she couldn't even take this. She had grown soft.

"I'm no more pleased about it than you are," Lawrence said slowly, teeth chattering. "But there's not much I can do. We're almost there. Can't you hold out for a little longer?"

Horo huddled into the blanket that offered little comfort and scowled. "You should be speaking for yourself. At least I can survive in the snow; you would probably die of the cold before I would."

"You make it sound like you _want_ that to happen."

She hesitated before lying back and watching the snowflakes land softly on her hair, eyelashes, lips. She would never be able to forgive him if he let himself die, but she knew he was more practical than he looked. She placed her faith in him too easily, but he had never let her down before.

Horo couldn't help but smile. "Softy."


	8. Just A Fool

**Prompt: **Fool  
**Character(s): **Lawrence/Horo  
**Originally Written: **3.30.2009  
**Author's Notes: **I'm just letting you know that the majority of the stories I've written take place during season one, so don't be surprised if you find that Lawrence and Horo's relationship is different in these stories than in the anime.

He wasn't sure how to feel about being on par with a goddess. On the other hand, he couldn't say he was exactly on par with her, but she wasn't as above him as he thought she would be.

Lawrence could only vaguely understand how she managed to be so powerful, so unbelievable yet so _human_ at the same time. Truth be told, he didn't want to fully understand; part of her appeal was being so mysterious.

Horo was hard to read and he wasn't talented at perceiving how people felt in the first place, but of one thing he was certain; he was just a fool to her. Whether this was the good or bad kind of fool didn't really matter to him, because all he cared about was the fact that she never took a fool like him for granted.

And he was satisfied with staying that way.


	9. Irreplacable

**Prompt: **Replace  
**Character(s): **Lawrence, Horo, mentions of Nora  
**Originally Written: **3.31.2009

"You fancy her, don't you?"

The question catches him off guard, although it really shouldn't; he should've known that she would be paying attention with acareful eye. He swallows and prepares himself for the worst.

"What are you going on about now?"

Her tail swishes back and forth, eyes nearly glowering. His lip twitches; he knows that this will not end well.

"You know exactly what I'm 'going on' about, idiot!" Horo pinches his ear from behind and he yelps, earning a satisfied smile. Lawrence knows that he's almost too easy to pick on, but she takes advantage of him so much that he's beginning to think he should give up any defenses he has; they're useless when it comes to her. "You're in love with that shepherd girl, aren't you?"

"_What?"_ Lawrence's voice comes out sounding an octave too high and the blood rushes to his face, making him blush like the weak-spirited man he is. "W-Where do you get these ideas from?"

He can't see what she's doing behind him in the cart, but he can tell it's nothing good. It had been a necessity to develop a sense for these things.

"Be honest. Is there a possibility that she might _replace_ me?" Her voice is low and dangerous and she already knows the answer. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't like the way his pulse is quickening even more.

"D-Don't be stupid. Of course not."

She raises an eyebrow.

"She's just a shepherd! You're…you're…"

"I'm?"

"…Never mind. You're so stubborn, you know that?"

He hears her laugh and sighs, knowing that, being the bumbling fool he is, he'll never fully articulate the way he feels.


	10. Look At Me

**Prompt: **#50. Writer's Choice (Woman)  
**Character(s): **Horo-centric  
**Timeframe: **Season 1  
**Originally Written: **4.2.2009

She will never be a woman.

There was a time where she would be proud of this fact. If it weren't for Lawrence's sake, she would be striding around, wearing her goddess status proudly. She still would be if she didn't think of the fact that deities like her cannot transcend their hierarchy to be with a human.

She knows that even if she were to stay with him, he would die long before she did. Horo would be alone once again, as she has always been. She thought she had gotten used to the feeling of solitude, but once she had a taste of companionship, it was difficult to even imagine it anymore.

Horo wants Lawrence to be happy, and if that desire for happiness leads to a woman like Chloe or Nora, then so be it. She's not so selfish as to prevent the man she loves from pursuing his own dreams.

She'll never be truly happy.


	11. Unlucky

**Prompt: **#42. Theft**  
Character(s): **Nora, mentioned Lawrence/Horo**  
Timeframe: **Season 1**  
Originally Written: **4.19.2009

Nora was young, but she knew the underlying hints of romance when she saw them.

It was almost painfully awkward watching Horo and Lawrence bicker and lament as they mourned their lost goods from the previous night's theft. The shepperd merely tilted her head to the side curiously as she saw them sigh and give up their fight.

"You're hopeless," Horo declared, turning away from him.

"I-It's not my fault!" He turned to Nora for support, but there was nothing she could do. She offered a nervous smile before coughing.

She turned away for a brief moment and heard harsh whispers, and she couldn't help but genuinely grin at the couple's misfortune, if only because their reactions were so glaringly adorable. They were dreadfully unlucky and fortunate at the same time.

Fortunate to have each other and unlucky in everything else.


	12. her story

**Prompt: **#4. Story**  
Character(s): **Lawrence, Horo**  
Timeframe: **Season 1**  
Originally Written: **6.19.2009

He found it predictable, but nevertheless strange that Horo had no issue with telling him all the stories she knew save for her own.

"_Someday I'll tell you. Just be content with what I can tell you now."_

It wasn't hard to understand that she was secretive about certain things and ostentatious about others. If anything, it added to his desire to learn who she truly was.

Was it possible to learn who a goddess – someone so unattainable, so out of his reach – truly was? Was it possible for her to give such a responsibility to him?

"_If you knew everything about me, this wouldn't be any fun, would it?"_

He wasn't sure what 'this' meant, but he supposed that the day she finally told her story would be a day of his affirmation as her true companion.

"Is there a reason you want to know anyway? I mean, I know your life has been boring and everything, but you should be happy that I'm telling you what I know anyway," she had told him one day.

"I never said I wasn't. Is it so bad that I don't like how secretive you are when it comes to things _you_ don't want me knowing?"

"Have you told me everything about yourself?"

"N-No…"

"Then I believe the matter is settled."

They were silent after that exchange and he knew then that there were some stories that simply weren't meant to leave the lips of the teller.


	13. fortune's fool

**Prompt: **#16. Dawn  
**Character(s): **Lawrence/Horo  
**Timeframe: **Season 2  
**Originally Written: **8.01.2009

There's nothing left.

Not Yoitsu, not Lawrence, not even her pride. Especially her pride.

No matter how pure his intentions had been, this pathetic excuse for a man – this bleeding heart who poured new life into her – lacerated her soul, allowing everything she held close to her to come flooding out. Driven to hysteria by grief, she said things she truly wishes to take back –

— _"Mate with me"_ –

– but there's no going back. There is simply nowhere to _go_ from this point on.

In spite of this, she doesn't want harm to befall him. Doesn't want him to leave her here, vulnerable and liable to break at the lightest breeze. She knows – she knows, because she's Horo and she (thinks she) knows these things – that there is a concern reserved for her that is deeply rooted inside of his very being. The inability to hate him vexes her to no end. How could she ever hate him? He is a Craft Lawrence, not a human. Is that why she feels such a profound lo- warmth towards him?

_whycan'tihateyou__  
whycan'tiloveyou__  
whydidyoudothis__  
howcouldyouhurtme_

The pain is searing as the blood pounds in her ears, drowning out the cries and cheers from the streets outside.

Sleep doesn't visit her tonight; she's left to dwell upon every foolish mistake she's ever made until the dawn arrives, bringing no comfort with its light.

* * *

The desire for sleep burns at his eyes.

There is no escape, no release from this guilt. Even if her suspicions were untrue, it was too harsh to ever give her any reason to suspect something so horrible. He knows that her fear of being alone is crippling at times, and he still chooses to give her reasons to doubt his motives.

Why? Why is he so compelled to keep secrets from her?

This would be so easy if she were unlikeable. He would have no problem admitting that he doesn't want her company. But she is Horo, and a Horo is likeable by default; infuriating at times, but likeable all the same.

_whydoyoudependonme__  
__whydoyoucareaboutme__  
__whydoyoumakemefeelthisway__  
__howcanyoulivelikethis_

The warm oranges and yellows of dawn begin to show themselves, and he is still alone.


End file.
